We've been watching "Hell's Kitchen" 09, or what I call the Cooking and Cussing Show.
It's down to three and I think I've got the winner picked.
The Donald's "Celebrity Apprentice" 09 continues on and this should be called the Joan River reality show.
The cooking challenge will never make Hell's Kitchen but the bickering and cussing might.
All with pics and vid you'll find nowhere else on the Internet.
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It was Disco night on American Idol 09.
Two contenders got sent home. A personal favorite disappointed and the boring one bored again.
And who the hell said Freda Payne was a disco singer?
All with pics and video you'll find nowhere else on the Internet.
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The big guy got the boot on "Dancing With the Stars" week ending 4/26/09.
The contest tightens and one who seemed likely to win slips a big. Another who started rough gets better every week.
All with pics and video you'll find nowhere else on the Internet.
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"Saving Mom From Uncle Guido" is a fiction story from "Mystery and Mirth, excerpted for yon enjoyment.
For the Micky Mouse head helped her overhear the murder plot and the door disguise helped her stop it in its tracks.
It's short and a smile.
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In Thoughts, we've got Obama shirtless and right there you must tune in.
Plus, heh, the Good Guy of the Week with a sarcastic reasons why Dick Cheney made Obama look like a fool this past week.
Also, Quip of the Week and You Can't Make This Stuff Up…much more.
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Pic of the Day
Presidential Pecs
I suppose it’s possible that if Arnold S. of Calyfornya were to become president that we might see him without a shirt and strutting his stuff. I’d like to think not for two reasons: First-Something in me gets squeamish about the notion of the President of the United States of America gadding about shirtless and Second-I have no particular loyalty to Republicans save choosing them over a Democrat were a gun placed to my head, but I tend to think of the Republicans as having more of a sense of sobriety and majesty about such things. Democrats are the political party of Hollywood after all.
But if Arnold S. were president and he were to run about shirtless to be placed in the handsome rotogravure well at the very least folks, we’d have something to look at.
We can see from this picture featured
HERE, that, come on yon ladies and gems, President Barack Obama is hardly any male model.
He has got to think he is ALL that. Because he’s the PRESIDENT for God’s sake. He could have, just throwing it out there, chose NOT to allow photographers take his photo in such a state or even, grasping at straws again, demanded that the photos NOT be published had the entire thing happened as he sleepwalked on the beach.
Oh no, ladies and gems. Obama knew he was being photographed and I am just so sorry, but he’s NO Arnold S.
He looks more like Geek Erkel and nobody in his surround has the courage to tell him that we all know transvestites with better physiques than this.
So very sad.
Dick Cheney
So I picked a pic of the man the libs love to hate, AND who is also my nominee for good guy of the week, that makes him look like the evil, evil evil-doer the left thinks he is.
Dick Cheney, boom, took Erkel Obama to the cleaners last week and it’s as bad as taking candy from a baby.
First Obama releases memos from the Office of Legal Counsel in the Justice department. In these memos are detailed what actions, in what context and for how long, could be taken against terrorist detainees being held by our military and who were believed to have important details about future attacks.
Not that releasing these memos did a damn bit of good except notify all the terrorists overseas just what kind of treatment they can expect from the Americans if they are caught and hey, maybe they could beef up their training to get their guys toughened up to survive the ordeal. It was a damn dumb thing to do but hey, this is a guy more interested in seeing his skinny-assed physique in the Washingtonian than say, protecting the country.
I remember right after the attacks of 9-11 everybody with vocal cords was grumping and complaining about why we didn’t have a clue what was going to happen. Repubs and Dems alike were screaming that we beat the bejesus out of these people that they tell us of these upcoming terrorist attacks and, I don’t know, maybe save American lives.
So Dick Cheney, heh, says that those memos are only part of the story. He says there were several MAJOR terrorist attacks thwarted because of our enhanced interrogation techniques and that HE is demanding that THESE memos be released. All in the interest of fair and balanced.
Further folks, those memos did NOT detail TERROR, get a grip. One was a response as to whether the CIA could put a bug in the guy’s room because he was so scared of them. The other was about sleep depravation, how long, what medical advice to have available. Also, our OWN military goes through these same procedures as part of THEIR training and I daresay we don’t torture our own damn military.
But the left…the libs…God hope we get through this leadership which, if it doesn’t bankrupt us, will have us all dead by terrorism attacks unquelled by the fine, fine libs who we need to tell us how to live.
So Obama at first released the memos but he pooh-poohed any attempts to prosecute prior administration officials. Then big, bad Dick Cheney threw down the gauntlet and this made Obama mad. Well damn, look at the man’s pecs for God’s sake. If I were Cheney, who’s been known to actually SHOOT people while hunting, I’d be scared witless.
So Obama, who never took a stand on any issue he’d later change if it suited him, said…well hold on, hold on. Maybe I’ll have Eric Holder look into throwing Bush and especially that bastard Cheney, into the slammer.
Heh.
So half the damn Democrats knew about these memos and those CIA interrogation techniques and now we have Pelosi, who can lie better than Bill Clinton and that’s saying something, having to deny that…well damn, yeah, the CIA guy mentioned the possibility of caterpillars in the jail cell, heaven forbid, but I didn’t think they’d actually DO it.
This makes the Dems mad at Obama for even bringing the whole matter up which, I say again, did no good at all except make this country less safe but we’ll just wait until another terrorist attack before we believe it, not that there aren’t nutty terrorists out to bring down this country…Obama bows to the Kings of the very country where nineteen of the last batch came from. This is a president with great pecs and that’s all you need to lead, after all.
Cheney…good guy of the week. He boxed Erkel into a corner and the guy looks like a deer in the headlights.
No muscles and no brains. What more could we want in a president?
Confirmation
We have a new bishop in the Wilmington Diocese, which includes some of Maryland, by the way.
Bishop Malooly is from Merryland as a matter of fact.
Our choir sang at a confirmation ceremony this past Saturday and I got some pics.
You don’t get to see the bishop often so I took the opportunity to save it in pictures.
More on Bishop Malooly HERE
Blagojevich Still May Be TV Star
Story here.
I am fond of disgraced former Governor Rod Blagojevich of Illinois as he makes Bill Clinton look like he has some class.
Blagojevich was removed from his governorship because he was in a side business of selling open senate seats. What with that stunt he pulled with getting lying Burris in the senate and goodness the man’s marvelous hair, he’s done more to make the Democratic party look stupid than Bill Clinton ever managed. And that, heh, is saying something.
A new reality show is premiering this June 1, 2009 called “I’m a celebrity, get me outta here.” I have no idea what it’s about but as a reality show aficionado and what with the possibility of watching that beautiful Blagojevich hair, this Blogger will be reviewing the show.
Oh yeah, the courts wouldn’t let Blago leave the country but NBC is so pleased with Blago’s help in publicizing the show that they may bring the show to hip.
You can, ladies and gems and as the saying goes, make this stuff up.
Quip of the Week goes to mine own husband and it was a good one.
“Can you imagine anything with less class than a U.S. president on the front of a magazine with no shirt?” I asked husband, showing him the picture of Erkel in all his glory.
“Yeah,” curmudgeon husband responded.
I awaited his wisdom.
“How about a president who brings an intern into the oval office to give him blow jobs?” husband gave his example, forgive language.
He had me there.
All Democrats.
Heh.
Ending With a Smile
The story of the robbery of an adult book store,
HERE was a smile in itself:
Workers in the store were forced into the bathroom after the robbery. The robbers took cash and a “Professor’s Pet blow-up doll,” according to the police report.
The suspects may have escaped in a small two-door automobile with 20-inch chrome wheels, police said.
The robbers took the cash as well as a “Professor’s Pet blow-up doll”…heh.
The real smile, however, is the cartoon below that a Freeper posted in the comments under the article.
FreeRepublic…filled with the smartest folks in the country.
Heh.
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Joan Rivers About the Only Celebrity on Celebrity Apprentice
We watch Celebrity Apprentice 2009 every Sunday night with a devoted regularity. It’s a reality show and I kind of like them. I sorta kinda like this reality show but this year I am getting so tired of Joan Rivers.
FOR IT’S ALL ABOUT HER!
Now I understand these things are scripted. I know there has to be tension, there has to be a hero, there has to be a good guy. And I know that out of all the contenders this season, Joan is the most well known.
There have been so many shows scripted around Joan this year. Joan was the master of ceremonies for the picture phone challenge. Joan was the project manager for the cupcake challenge. Joan got into a tiff with Clint Black during the dishwashing liquid viral commercial challenge. Joan got disgusted with colleague Natalie Gulbis’ choice of jewelry during the jewelry auction challenge. Finally, this past week, Joan’s all in a tither over Annie Duke, the poker player who Joan says is deceitful, two-faced and poor white trash.
Of course we end up getting all involved with Melissa Rivers, spawn of Joan. Melissa Rivers’ has no discernible talent save being the daughter of Joan Rivers. Her presence on the Celebrity Apprentice 2009 does enhance the scripting in that we have mother/daughter conflicts that add to the drama.
Actually most of these contenders, including Joan, are very nice folk. It’s got to be hard to be a script-writer for this reality show. Truth be told, Melissa Rivers is probably the nastiest of the lot but any tension involving her necessarily must involve her mother.
They tried to make Clint Black a bad guy but come on. This guy walks around with a little Jesus-type of smile on his face. Herschel Walker is such a nice fellow that even The Donald professed his love for the fellow. Dennis Rodman was close to being a villain but truth is he was just a drunk who forgot yesterday’s enemies.
Now Annie Duke, who is being scripted to be an avowed enemy of Joan Rivers, is too a nice lady and who’s going to buy that Rivers’ assertion that being a poker player automatically makes you poor white trash?
-Jesse James-founder of West Coast Choppers
-Dennis Rodman-5 time NBA champion-sent home 3/29/09
-Andrew "Dice" Clay-once dirty mouthed comedian-sent home 3/1/09
-Joan Rivers-talk show host
-Herschel Walker-Retired NFL player-sent home 4/19/09
-Khloe Kardashian-the Kardashian without the nice ass-sent home 4/5/09
-Tionne "T-Box" Watkins-R&B singer-sent home 4/5/09
-Natalie Gulbis-Professional golfer-sent home 4/19/09
-Tom Green-Actor, comedian-sent home 3/15/09
-Claudia Jordan-Actress, model-sent home 3/22/09
-Clint black-country music star
-Brande Roderick-Actress and Playboy model
-Brian McKnight mutli platinum R&B singer-sent home 4/12/09
-Melissa Rivers-daughter of Joan Rivers
-Scott Hamilton-gold medal olympic figure skater-sent home 3/8/09
-Annie Duke-professional poker player, motivational speaker
On the 4/12/09 episode, the challenge was to create an in-store display for Lifelock, that company that protects your identify from theft. Brian McKnight, another very nice fellow, was sent home for failing that task as a project manager. Brian made it very obvious in the boardroom that he was tired, bored and ready to go.
Joan began her slow simmer with Annie during this Lifelock challenge. Seems Annie had allegedly vowed that she would trash Brande for her failures during that competition but Joan felt Annie trashed daughter Melissa.
Nothing of the sort happened but hey, it was in the script.
On 4/19/09 two contenders were sent home. The first challenge, began the week prior right after the Lifelock challenge, was to have the contenders auction of some jewelry from the Ivanka jewelry line. Natalie Gulbis was assigned the task of choosing the jewelry for auction. The prevailing sentiment was that the choices made by Natalie were poor ones, that the jewelry was pretty but too small to be scene from the auction podium. Oh, I forgot. Joan Rivers again came to save the day as Clint Black floundered on his assigned task as auctioneer. They really ought to call this the Joan Rivers Celebrity Apprentice.
Natalie got fired for her failure and soon the next challenge was upon.
In fact I use Schwann’s home delivery from time to time. They are quite expensive and by me their food brings mixed results.
For two people, Schwann’s can be a godsend. I love their pot roast. It comes already “slow-cooked” and it’s very tender and flavorful. It costs nineteen bucks but I cut up portions to make husband hot roast beef sandwiches, which he loves. Husband has bad teeth, a fact that will soon change, and this tender meat is perfect. So out of that nineteen bucks I can get maybe ten nice hot roast beef sandwiches for husband.
Schwann’s has some other good food but given their expense, you almost have to be involved in some sort of apportionment like mine above.
The quality of their food is also mixed. By me, you NEVER want to buy a vegetable that ever had a mother or a father from Schwann’s home delivery. My experience is that their vegetables are awful. Best buy the big bag of frozen things from Walmart then season and cook to your own preference.
At any rate, the challenge was for each team to design a new food item for Schwann’s. I thought both teams came up with perfectly awful recipes, stuff I would never, ever buy. Clint Black came up with a recipe for a chicken breast cooked in a teryaki sauce, a recipe he says is used in his own home.
Well I rarely buy anything with a chicken breast in it as chicken breasts are cheap. It’s simple matter to fry up a chicken breast and cover it with some bottled teryaki sauce, throw on some salt and pepper. The KOTU team added some broccoli to their meal and a frozen yogurt dessert along with that the Schwann’s people said was too complicated for the home consumer.
The Athina team did design a better dish but the noodles had no gluten. Right there I’d never order it.
Well sure there’s folks that can’t tolerate gluten and this dish might be a godsend for them. But the vast majority of people in this country can tolerate gluten and I’m not convinced they’d buy some kind of gluten free dish just on principle. For all we know removing gluten might remove the taste.
The Schwann’s people chose the gluten-free dish as the winner but as I understand it the Schwann’s folks were not terribly impressed by either entry.
Herschel Walker was the Project Manager for KOTU and he got fired.
Below, The Donald fires the two most recent ejected celebrity apprentices.
